Dear Minivan Makers,

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 05/05/2014 at 14:53 • Filed to: None

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Stop it with the random gear selectors. Just stop it right now.

There is a perfect place for them that's not some bulky-ass stick on the dash.

Seriously, stop it.

Do what Ford did and put it on the column.

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/05/2014 at 14:56

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White interior trim on a mini van Toyota? You are just asking for stains from little kids eating Hot Cheetoes

philipilihp > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/05/2014 at 15:00

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If any vehicle is screaming for push-button gear selectors or a rotary knob, it's the minivan. Why not do that and eliminate a shifter altogether? If they can do it on a citybuds, they can do it on a minivan. For God's sake, the Dodge Ram has a rotary gear selector!

thebigbossyboss > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/05/2014 at 15:01

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The perfect place is the column shift. Let it be KNOWN!

Jcarr > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/05/2014 at 15:03

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Amen, one of the worst mini-trends in automotive design of late.

thebigbossyboss > philipilihp 05/05/2014 at 15:03

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But...you can also get dodge ram with manual. which is winning.

George Costanza > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/05/2014 at 15:05

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Kia solved this for you.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > George Costanza 05/05/2014 at 15:09

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No, part of the appeal of a minivan is having a flat floor and a huge ass console ruins it.

BigBlock440 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/05/2014 at 15:37

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Column shift is so 90's. Also, you said did, not does.

\I agree that they should be column or dial, but at least they're on the dash, not the floor.

\\If Ford still made minivans, I guarantee they'd be on the dash too.

Dunnik > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/05/2014 at 15:42

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Marketer - "So, where were you planning on putting the shifter?"

Engineer - "Same place it's always been, on the steering column."

Marketer - "But column shifters are 'old' and 'boring', and the minivan already has an image issue as it is. Can't we put it some place more 'exciting'?"

Engineer - "You fucking marketing guys. Why do we put up with your bullshit?"

Marketer - "Because my bullshit sells cars, sales that pay your salary, asshole."

Engineer - "OK, fine. I can make it "Four on the Floor" like its a friggen' muscle car. Happy?"

Marketer - "No. We need that space for storage."

Engineer - "Fuck it. I'll just throw it on the dash, how about that?"

Marketer - "Works for me."